One Week Later: Lessons from a Former Social Media Addict (Who Has Already Relapsed)

I'm back on social media.

I didn't learn anything from my week-long sabbatical, except that I don't miss Facebook when it's not in my life. But I do miss Instagram - as a distraction, yes, but even more so as a quick, easy and creative way to share my thoughts, feelings and moods. Why I feel this is necessary is beyond me. Perhaps it's simply the result of living in a world where social media is a thing. Perhaps if this were 20 years ago, I'd just have to call my friends and tell them what's going on. Maybe I'd be better for it. I sure do hate talking on the phone.

I'm going to keep the shopping apps off my phone, though. Having just paid last month's credit card balance, I could use all the help I can get avoiding mindless, compulsive purchases.

Here are some of the things I've purchased, for which I choose to blame Buzzfeed and the spiritually oppressive environment of the cubicle and not an abysmal lack of self-control on my part:

1. Fabric dye - I was definitely going to dye my white blazer gray and get so much use out of it. It was a beautiful dream that died the minute I realized I had to visit a website to get the instructions.
2. Shoe liners - these were going to solve the age-old problem of "what the fuck kind of socks can I wear with my loafers/ballet flats/low-rise sneakers/any shoes that aren't sandals or boots?" I don't understand how people wear those stupid no-show socks that slip off your heel the minute you add shoes to the equation. Man, do I hate those socks. Almost as much as I hate underwear for its inability to stay put. Anyway, I ordered these miracle liners a month ago, and they finally shipped yesterday, and I'm already over it. I know this because I am currently wearing a new-ish pair of loafer-style shoes without any socks at all. I've surrendered. This is how I live.
3. A magnetic phone holder for my car - I often use Google Maps to navigate while driving, and I hate that I can't stand my phone upright in my car. This inexpensive solution was going to change everything. I still haven't remembered to bring it down to my car. It's been at least 2 months. 
4. A fabric de-fuzzer - it did not make my pill-ravaged sweaters or sheets feel brand new. I am beginning to lose faith in science's ability to solve life's biggest problems. 
5. Hem tape - my jeans are too long, and taking them to a tailor would require taking them to a tailor. So when I discovered this miracle tape that would alter the hem of my jeans without me having to leave the house, I was obviously thrilled. It's still sitting on my dresser. I haven't even bothered to read the directions. I'd probably screw it up anyway, so it's for the best, really. 

Those are just a few examples. I'm not proud. But if you need any useless gadgets (in Like New condition!), hit me up. I'd love to help.  

In other news, this morning I listened to a Fresh Air interview with Andrea Arnold, who wrote and directed the new film American Honey. She was talking about writing a particular scene about power and self-tanner and not knowing it would turn into that when she sat down to write. I envy that. I've heard other writers talk about not knowing what's going to come out of their brains when they sit down to write, and I covet that experience. I wish for an imagination, or easier access to my imagination. I wonder if it's something that comes with practice, or if some people are just naturally inclined toward fiction the way I'm naturally inclined to recording my thoughts, feelings and moods.

In other other news, my coffee tastes like plastic. So that's the kind of day I'm having. But it's still early, and there are K-cups in the office kitchen area. Because cliche is fundamental to corporate culture, and I'm really leaning into that cubicle life.