What is it about being human....

... that makes us want to share our emotional tribulations publicly? Perhaps it's the dawn of social networking, that enables us to vent our frustrations, pour out our sorrows, and express our fury without the discomfort we might feel were we to erupt so spontaneously and unreservedly in the presence of actual people.

I'm guilty of this myself. There is something so irresistible about posting an irate Facebook status, cleverly disguised by a thin veil of snark. It provides me with an illusion of superiority,  this passive-aggressive attempt to reconcile an inner conflict or conceal an emotional wound. Sometimes even to share an emotional wound, as though by doing so I might find vindication, by saying "see? see how I've been wronged?" Because I instinctively believe that it's possible and even necessary for me to prove that I don't deserve whatever emotional pain I'm feeling. As though justice were relevant in matters of the heart.

Essentially, it's all about control. A belief that if I can rationalize, vocalize, make comprehensible a painful reality (such as, my feelings have been hurt), I am in control of the feeling. I am not powerless....or, rather, I am not responsible. The truth is, even if I have been treated unjustly, I don't have to be a victim. It is still within my power, and is indeed my responsibility, to turn a painful situation into something of value. There is always something to gain, often it is something intangible, like strength or wisdom or humility.

So why this need to prove I am a victim? Or, perhaps more accurately, that I am not a fool, not passive or weak or unwitting, but aware and indignant and, yes, superior. It always comes down to protecting the ego. If I were enlightened, I wouldn't post this.

Unfortunately for my ego, however, I still have a need to be vulnerable, to share my pain without risking appearing foolish or weak...which, being human, I am. And that's okay.

It's a journey, right? Here's to hoping this next curve in the road will be more humorous, readers. Til then, thanks for listening anonymously and invisibly. And cheers, regardless!