One of the best things about having a niece is that I finally get to pay back my brother for all those years of pushing me around. Like when my niece finds the dog's leash and tells me we need to take "dada" for a walk, and he has to oblige us because no one can resist her tiny, adorable, beguiling charm.
Who's the dog now, man?!
Feb 21, 2012
Give Me My Baby-Making Freedom!
I think the worst thing that's happened since Obama took office has been his unceasing attempts to turn me into a baby-killing heathen. All I want is the freedom to NOT have access to birth control. Is that so much to ask? LISTEN TO MY SONG OBAMA! LISTEN TO IT GOOD!
Feb 20, 2012
Corruption: My Day at Church
My youngest niece got baptized last week. During the ceremony, my oldest niece and godchild, who was being held by my brother, dutifully answered the priest's questions along with her parents: Do you believe in the God the
Father, almighty, creator of heaven
and earth? (She did.) Do you believe in Jesus Christ,
his only son, our Lord, who was
born of the Virgin Mary, was crucified,
died, and was buried, rose from
the dead and is now seated at
the right hand of the Father? (Yeah, she did.) Do you reject Satan and all his works and all his empty promises? (She shook her head: "I don't, Dada!")
It was a proud moment for me. Which made me feel a little guilty, which made me feel redeemed as a Catholic.
But don't tell her mother I said that, about being proud. On account of I'm supposed to be a spiritual guide, not a conspirator in treachery.
It was a proud moment for me. Which made me feel a little guilty, which made me feel redeemed as a Catholic.
But don't tell her mother I said that, about being proud. On account of I'm supposed to be a spiritual guide, not a conspirator in treachery.
Feb 13, 2012
Poem-esque, if you like that sort of thing.
Letting It Out...Loud: Garbage Bags, or, Next Time Find a Kinder Containe...: Garbage bags. Presented to me in person or dropped at my door, they contain a number of small personal items. A toothbrush, a travel-sized ...
Reflections on Brevity
I just re-read a paragraph from my last post. I've come to a conclusion. I need to write shorter sentences.
Feb 11, 2012
More about faith, blah blah blah, thanks for listening.
Yesterday evening, while listening to an atheist describe his worldview as comfortable, I realized that I don't believe in anything supernatural. I believe in the human spirit. A clarification: I seek to believe in the human spirit. That is precisely my struggle in faith.
Can I call this a "higher" power? Absolutely. Because the basis for my comparison, the "me" and "I" that is lower than "God," is not me, per se, but rather one of the negative functions of my entire being. I sometimes call it ego, sometimes mind, or simply fear or ignorance. And just as much as these negative functions are a part of me, so are the "higher" functions such as strength, courage, and compassion, which are sometimes called divine, God, truth, etc.
I guess the whole point is, I, like the atheist who prompted these musings, strive too much to understand what is meant by the word God. Essentially, the struggle is to simply believe. In anything that is positive and fosters courageous action and inspires us to connect more with our fellows and create instead of destroy.
I have been struggling to believe. I have been choosing to let the voices of fear convince me that I am inadequate, incapable and incompetent. This manifests itself in my career, in my creative pursuits, and in my relationships. I become impatient with others' shortcomings because I believe that my own shortcomings make me unworthy of love. I resent my professional work because I believe I am not of any real value in my job, because I fear being mired in mediocrity, and it is more convenient to blame my situation and higher-ups than to strive to improve myself professionally, and it is easier to believe I am incompetent than to take ownership of my work and risk criticism. I'm afraid to set and pursue goals as a creative writer, because I might fail. I'm afraid to accept my shortcomings in all aspect of my life, because deep down, I don't believe I can change them.
But Faith, or God, or whatever you choose to call it, says otherwise. Faith knows my fate is not predetermined or immutable. Faith knows that the human spirit is capable of overcoming any challenge, of developing its character toward growth and expansion and actualizing its potential. And it is ONLY through faith that I will ever change my perspective...which is the ONLY thing holding me back.
So the struggle continues, and that is just fine. I'm just glad you're here to listen, my silent and invisible audience. Cheers.
Can I call this a "higher" power? Absolutely. Because the basis for my comparison, the "me" and "I" that is lower than "God," is not me, per se, but rather one of the negative functions of my entire being. I sometimes call it ego, sometimes mind, or simply fear or ignorance. And just as much as these negative functions are a part of me, so are the "higher" functions such as strength, courage, and compassion, which are sometimes called divine, God, truth, etc.
I guess the whole point is, I, like the atheist who prompted these musings, strive too much to understand what is meant by the word God. Essentially, the struggle is to simply believe. In anything that is positive and fosters courageous action and inspires us to connect more with our fellows and create instead of destroy.
I have been struggling to believe. I have been choosing to let the voices of fear convince me that I am inadequate, incapable and incompetent. This manifests itself in my career, in my creative pursuits, and in my relationships. I become impatient with others' shortcomings because I believe that my own shortcomings make me unworthy of love. I resent my professional work because I believe I am not of any real value in my job, because I fear being mired in mediocrity, and it is more convenient to blame my situation and higher-ups than to strive to improve myself professionally, and it is easier to believe I am incompetent than to take ownership of my work and risk criticism. I'm afraid to set and pursue goals as a creative writer, because I might fail. I'm afraid to accept my shortcomings in all aspect of my life, because deep down, I don't believe I can change them.
But Faith, or God, or whatever you choose to call it, says otherwise. Faith knows my fate is not predetermined or immutable. Faith knows that the human spirit is capable of overcoming any challenge, of developing its character toward growth and expansion and actualizing its potential. And it is ONLY through faith that I will ever change my perspective...which is the ONLY thing holding me back.
So the struggle continues, and that is just fine. I'm just glad you're here to listen, my silent and invisible audience. Cheers.
Feb 8, 2012
Ok, this is gonna sound a little creepy, but...
It's no secret that I'm in love with Ezra Furman. And I don't mean that in a crush kind of way, a fantasy kind of way, not even in a stalker kind of way. I mean I saw God look into my eyes at an Ezra Furman concert, in January of 2011, and I still hear God in every Ezra Furman song I hear. This is especially noteworthy because I don't believe in God. But I believe in music. And I believe in poetry. And I believe that every human being contains the limitless potential for indestructible joy, which is more popularly known as God.
Buddhist philosopher Daisaku Ikeda says this: "The eyes of a poet discover in each person a unique and irreplaceable humanity. White arrogant intellect seeks to control and manipulate the world, the poetic spirit bows before its mysteries."
Ezra Furman is such a poet, embracing the oddities and nuances that make the most marginalized individuals the most beautiful and interesting. He shines light on dark corners of his own consciousness, not afraid to linger in those places that trouble, disturb, challenge and frighten. With a sharp-witted insight, his music tells me I am not alone. Even more importantly, his music tells me to be fearless in my pain; to confront pain with unyielding determination; to delve in deep, if only for the sake of a song.
I'm not a musician. But I aspire and work towards transforming my life into a song, nonetheless. To break free from self-loathing by immersing myself in it. To express myself honestly and loudly and unapologetically, so someone else might find the courage to do the same. To embrace that which is sensitive and vulnerable in my own being, gaining strength through the unconditional acceptance of all that is.
For those of us for whom life is a struggle, and we are many if not obviously so, the beauty is in the fight. And we ought to recognize our responsibility to create beauty from our struggle, lest our brothers and sisters lose heart and despair. Music is the soul's triumph, art is a life lived courageously. Find your God, within yourself and within others. Name it whatever you choose. Then triumph, and create.
Oh, and check out Ezra's new album, which is utterly masterful. www.ezrafurman.com
Buddhist philosopher Daisaku Ikeda says this: "The eyes of a poet discover in each person a unique and irreplaceable humanity. White arrogant intellect seeks to control and manipulate the world, the poetic spirit bows before its mysteries."
Ezra Furman is such a poet, embracing the oddities and nuances that make the most marginalized individuals the most beautiful and interesting. He shines light on dark corners of his own consciousness, not afraid to linger in those places that trouble, disturb, challenge and frighten. With a sharp-witted insight, his music tells me I am not alone. Even more importantly, his music tells me to be fearless in my pain; to confront pain with unyielding determination; to delve in deep, if only for the sake of a song.
I'm not a musician. But I aspire and work towards transforming my life into a song, nonetheless. To break free from self-loathing by immersing myself in it. To express myself honestly and loudly and unapologetically, so someone else might find the courage to do the same. To embrace that which is sensitive and vulnerable in my own being, gaining strength through the unconditional acceptance of all that is.
For those of us for whom life is a struggle, and we are many if not obviously so, the beauty is in the fight. And we ought to recognize our responsibility to create beauty from our struggle, lest our brothers and sisters lose heart and despair. Music is the soul's triumph, art is a life lived courageously. Find your God, within yourself and within others. Name it whatever you choose. Then triumph, and create.
Oh, and check out Ezra's new album, which is utterly masterful. www.ezrafurman.com
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