Platsburgh, VT -- When 6-year-old Toby Mushnik knocked his 13-year-old sister's earring into the toilet last Sunday evening, he knew he had to make a decision, the area boy told reporters yesterday. "I really, really hate germs, and my mom says that toilet water gives you H1N1 and then you die, but I really, really, really hate Indian burns, and my sister is super good at them," said Mushnik, who was wearing the earring when he went into the bathroom.
He had gotten his ears pierced last year—a birthday present from his Uncle Brody, who admits he was "totally [expletive] up" at the time.
After finishing his business at the toilet, young Mushnik reached over the put the toilet seat down, when inexplicably, and to the boy's horror, the earring came loose and fell into the toilet bowl.
Luckily, he had brought his box of 64-count pack of Crayola Crayons into the bathroom with him. He selected his least-favorite colors—"Asparagus," "Fuzzy Wuzzy," "Cerulean" and "Plum"—from the pack and, using dental floss from the medicine cabinet, linked the crayons together to form a makeshift rope. Holding both ends of the rope, he then lowered it into the toilet and manuevered until he succeeded in hooking the yellow plastic loop and lifting it out of the water.
"It took me a bazillion gazillion tries, but I didn't give up," Mushnik said, beaming with pride and self-satisfaction. When asked why he didn't simply reach his hand in to fish the earring out, he replied emphatically: "Gross!" and refused to answer any further questions.
His sister could not be reached for comment, as she was quite ill with what some sources are calling "a particularly nasty case of H1N1."
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