Conversation overheard from my cubicle. David is describing the instinctive reaction of a parent to his sick kid "spewing" mucus in the middle of the night. I've spared the least-savory details, as a gesture of consideration.
David: What would you have done? Let the kid spew all over the bed --
Duggles:Absolutely.
David: --and change the sheets at 4 o'clock in the morning? I don't think so.
Duggles: So naturally, you offered your hands.
David: Naturally. (pause for dramatic effect) And this happened FOUR times!
Me, interjecting from the neighboring row of cubicles: How does that happen four times? Then, anticipating a literal, descriptive response from David: I mean, you couldn't have given him a bucket?
David, considering the question as if for the first time: Well...I mean, the bathroom was only a few feet away (as if this explains anything).
Duggles, seeing my bafflement and loyally coming to the rescue of his friend's pride: A good parent doesn't give their kid a bucket. A good parent uses his bare hands.
Me: Oh. I definitely got a bucket.
Duggles: That explains a lot. Mine just wrapped a towel around my mouth.
Chorus: Mmph.
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